Story and advice On child molestation to parents and Guardians
Good day my one million finsters and great Lola.
I was sexually molested by my uncles while growing up, so I am like a hawk where my babies are. I wake up 2 to 3 times in the night to check on them especially when my younger brothers, or a friend visit.
I have 4 girls; 3 are mine while 1 is my help. From the day my help stepped foot in my house, I gave her detailed sex education and how detrimental it would be to her future. She was 11years when she came. She is currently 13.
I also encouraged her to look out for my kids and never allow them play with guys alone including my brothers.
Last holiday was long vacation. My help used to attend holiday lesson, and I went to work with my kids. My brothers complained a lot. Then one day, I got tired of their troubles, I then sat my brothers down and talked to them.
I asked them whether they knew the meaning of the word ‘paedophile’. I then went ahead and educated them on what it was. I also talked to them about rape, telling them to protect any girl child they see that is a victim.
You see, these brothers of mine are like my kids. I was in senior class when one of them was born at home, while I had left secondary school when the other one was born, also at home. I bathed them, changed their diapers, and all. Close to the puberty of the older one, I gave them sex education. I continued updating them and encouraged them to ask me any confusing question anytime, cos I am a medical doctor.
The problem is that, they didn’t grow up under the tutelage of my late dad.
After he died, my mum moved to the village and for them to get quality education, rented a single room for them in town. So they lived alone without parental care from the age of 9years for the younger one, and 13 for the older one.
My mum visited them occasionally. But I made it a point of duty to visit them at least once a week from my hostel as an undergraduate even though things were very tough financially.
Why this long story?
I was embarrassed and shocked 3 nights ago when I went to check on my girls around 2am, and my househelp told me someone climbed her back and was wriggling his penis on her bum.
I was initially shocked, destabilized, and sad at the same time. From her narrative, it was the older one of my little brothers. The younger one had gone home a week back.
I confronted him in the morning, and he didn’t deny it. He rather blamed the younger one.
He said that he caught the younger one doing the same some days before he left for school, and he admitted that he used to do it, but without removing her pants.
My help sleeps very deeply. So she wasn’t even aware of what the younger one was doing.
I was shattered! After being a mother to them. How could they stab me. My hubby gives them a lot. He rewards the younger one with money brand new clothing shoes each term when he takes first position. And he didn’t look back while he was doing the same thing i told him to protect my kids from.
I called the younger one, he admitted to the crime, apologised, and I asked who was molesting him. He said no one. But that our cousin who was older than them used to put adult movies while he was living with then, and he used to sleep with his girlfriend in their room.
I told them plainly that no one is visiting me again!
I understand that they are going through puberty and adolescence now. But I thought that my several tutoring could have made them better.
I was disappointed about my last born cos he looked so innocent that I almost vowed he didn’t do it.
When my help told me what happened, the shock of the past came rolling back in my memory. My uncle would come at night, put his penis inbetween my thighs, and ejaculate when i was seven. I couldn’t tell anyone. I thought I was the cause that as an adolescent, I kept going for confession about it. I hated my uncle but couldn’t do anything about it. My parents were too busy. The second one came while i was 12. Same pattern.
I am happy my hubby agrees that none of his male friends will visit us in our absence.
My resolve is that i will have no male sibling coming for a long holiday around me ever! I’ll rather help from a distance. Phew!
Abegi my sisters, there is nothing like being overprotective when it comes to your children. The girl child as well as the boy child is abused. Very close relatives and house boys or girls or apprentices are the ones that abuse our little ones. Be like a hawk over them.