A woman naturally is fragile, sentimental, and an emotional being. She can sometimes act weird,paranoic for no reason.
Despite that,it shouldn’t translate into the fact that,her soft nature should be seen as an inability or incapability because beside such is a strong willed, determined and sacrificial individual.
Am putting this piece forward on a sad note and so I asked?
Are women really substandard?
Are we really invaluable?
Why is the society and people condemn us for a little error even if such errors were repeatedly done by our male counterparts?
Is it really so even spiritually?
What really triggered the above outburst was;just this morning two small boys(of
about 8-9yrs) were passing by me, one of the boys said to the other (I guess they were in a kind of say a competition with their females counterparts)” what will women do?
What do they know? It was not really what he said that touched me, but the contempt he exhibit while saying that.
So I ask why are we devalued to this extend that, even a small boy considered us invalid? Why are we degraded this much?Are we really failures?.
Come to think of it, its alright for a boy to sit at home do nothing, but ordered his little sisters around that’s alright, he is trying to become a responsible man in future.
Its sad that a yardstick of measuring a man’s responsibleness is his ability to command a woman, to give orders, to be in charge, to dominate and control his woman.
Its only when he reduced his woman to almost nothing short of a maid, a child factory or an object of pleasure who is always at his beck and call that’s when he will considered or be hailed a real man.And anything short of that he is a failure to his fellow male.
The society holds a view that, a man who hold his woman a companion,his assistant, his friend and a confidant that man will be tagged not man enough or “mijin Hajiya”.
It’s okay for a man to misbehave,have numerous girlfriends married or unmarried he is just been a man.
But if a lady does that, the people will castigate and tagged her irresponsible and ill mannered.
Forgotten the fact that she is capable of fallen or given in to temptations too. And if she mistakenly falls victim, She will be considered a taboo. Its okay for a man to go out and come back at will, but a woman’s responsibleness is counted based on the time she stays indoors.
Working in some places are considered not conducive for a woman and she has been forced to accept that, she settled down for a meager one, but still had to contribute to the upkeep of the house directly or indirectly. Why won’t women be given an opportunity too, to explore their potentials?
The only potentials they are allowed to
realise is that of home managerial skills.
When a lady reached certain age before marriage, the people and the society will sayshe refused to get married or that she is choosy and then she will be dreaded like a contagious disease, on the allegations that she will be hard to control, either of the education she possessed or the job, or car she drives.
The society will never dig deep to find out why she has not settle down,? how many men have broken her heart and trust?
What phases of difficulty has she bored and still manage to live? How many men have taken advantage of her innocence?How many men has she ever loved without been loved back? How many nights has she cried herself to sleep just because for that chance to belong to that man of her dreams? Dozens of questions the society failed to ask her.
But when a man reached certain age, the society will on the contrary sympathise with him, that he is unlucky,or some will even be willing to give out their naive and innocent girl’s hands in marriage, according to them he has attained an age of responsibleness. And if he has a job,a car and a house that’s even an added advantage. He is termed now a big fish.
The society will never dig deep to find out why he is not married at a younger age?how many hearts of naive and Innocent girls has he broken? Or how many girls has he deceived?
Another thought provoking issue is the issue of marriages failure.
A divorcee syndrome.
The syndrome holds that : A woman is expected to be with a man whether he loves her or not,whether he respects her or not.On the flimsy excuse that, no man will be interested in her or how will the society see her? she is then termed an impatient and ungreatful when she voice out her troubles,or she speak out about her been denied, of her rights, or ignored by the one she calls her own.Instead she will be quizzed as to who will take charge of her children, who will provide for her ?
She will constantly be reminded that she will be a burden after the marriage.So she is forced to lay down her life, her job, her aspirations, her dreams, her career, her friends, sometimes even her relatives(or even her children from a previous marriage)
The man will accept and proclaimed he love her,will shoulder her responsibilities but that of her child nil so she is left with no choice than to surrender the children to another woman other than herself.
But is that fair? I guess not a bit.
So why won’t the society allow woman to have excuses? To have or give an explanations for her actions,her misdeed but instead castigate her? why won’t she be given choice to also run her life the way she wants?why won’t she be accepted for who she is, intellectually, morally, religiously, educationally and status wise?
As far as am concern, its okay for a woman to be who she is,to be what she wants to be,to dream,to hope, to live to be accepted as a whole, without recourse been made to whatever its deem as her weakness.
I am calling on women to accept their lives the way they are, to rise up and empower themselves, because an empowered woman is a treasure.
Our duty is not primarily to marry and be enslaved, bear children, or warm a man’s bed,quench his thirst, or satisfy his hunger.
But we also have duty to serve our Creator, find our source of creation, serve ourselves, our family, our society and beyond.
We are women we are unique.We are special,we will rise up against all oppression against our human persons, our dignity and integrity.
God bless all women and all those who love, respect and hold women dear as companions.