Most often when you love someone or something, they become your weakness.
Amazingly when you love Allah (S.W.T)💚 He becomes your strength. I believe there is a purpose for every person you meet in this life. Some come to test you, some will use you, some will teach you, and some will bring out the best in you.
It might be a wrong timing for Zaheeda and Omar but destiny decides who we meet in life while we decide who to keep in the heart.
Omar brought out the very best in me (things I never knew I had). It all started in the the days of Path, a social media site that trend in 2012 with a normal Hello/Hi conversation .
Their wasn’t any string attached, from Path we took it to Twitter still with the same feeling (just social media friends). I tweet, He quote/ retweet and vice versa. We get to know how we are through Direct message once in a blue moon and that was it.
I seriously can’t recall the last time we spoke/chat after that 2012-2013 till late February of 2018 when Omar buzz me on Instagram when I posted a picture on my Story. Since then we began to chat on Instagram almost everyday. Like theirs no day I won’t see a notification of Him trying to tease or otherwise.
Most times I give a quick respond other times it took me days just because social media went out my way. I felt it’s very rude to ignore someone who always try to keep you company and check on you despite his busy schedule so we continue that way.
We begin to go deep by knowing each other’s very well. Omar, One of the Sweetest Calm down-to-earth soul I’ve ever come across became my closet friend, like I feel very confident telling Him the most Bizarre and craziest things I’ve ever done. I told Him My encounter with my Ex boyfriends(my favorite to worse) and the one I went crazy about that almost ruin my current relationship.
Am the type that spend late nights before thinking of sleeping, I go to bed anytime after 12:00am, that was when our morning with Omar begins, we spend hours chatting/exchanging voice notes without getting bored. Most often I ran away without saying goodnight because He will never let go with His unending stories.
We spoke about plans to meet, yes we have never met before but it felt like we have known each other’s while keeping in touch for 6 years. Omar reside with His Family in PortHacourt (the South eastern part) but hails from the North Eastern state of Maiduguri.
Following the success of His tech business in Porthacourt, he decide to set one in Abuja the Federal Capital. So He was shuffling between the two cities. He was in Abuja when I planned going to a friend’s wedding and also spend a week at my Aunt’s house. I wasn’t really wanting seeing Him because I don’t want to start something I can’t finish and believe me I wasn’t catching feelings at that time. Infact I was serious about giving Him my pretty younger Sister which He indirectly turns down my offer. So I suggested a casual Friendship Lunch and Lucky to us it didn’t work because of some consequences. Omar was so busy in the day time between I can’t be out in the night. He actually wanted us going to the Movies, I wasn’t disappointed at all.
Things started to change direction in the month if August during Edil Kabir Festival. Omar was to take a flight to Maiduguri to meet up his family for Eid celebration. It’s a culture here in Northern Nigeria for individuals to try as much as possible to spend Eid with family precisely at home towns. He told me and I wished Him a safe flight. I didn’t get to hear from Him throughout the day, tried to be calm but I wasn’t actually Myself. I was so worried something bad might happen to Him, that was when I realized that am fallen.
The next morning despite how we (women) get busy in the kitchen because of “Suyan Nama” and the rest, I still manage to text just to be sure everything is fine but no response. Till in the afternoon when he buzz me with an apology on Whatsapp. I was like “You! Am gonna screw you! You got me scared! He apologizes and I felt so much relieved. He got to see the pictures of my “Kwalliyan Sallah” He did the usaul tease and admiration.
After Eid, Zaheeda was diagnosed with Septicemia ( a disease cause by the presence of pathogenic organisms especially bacteria in the bloodstreams).
I’ve been having this chills and high fever and was tired of taking anti-malaria when I decided to go for a check up. I cried so much when I was told which made me down/off social network for some days. I got to tell Omar, He was so worried always checking on me and making sure I take my medications. I couldn’t ask for more. I felt much better after a week.
Our intimacy with grow stronger that we couldn’t hide to each other. But theirs this barrier between us that will make everything go away within a blink of an eye. But you never can tell what the future holds. Zaheeda is married! I know you just freeze! Yes I’m married but I don’t have the intention of cheating on my partner.
I was just like other Women searching for love/affection that I couldn’t get for the past years. For we all know the heart doesn’t have a bone, it craves for the littlest things. Things really are getting out of hands and we have no option than to control it. So Omar suggested we take a break for God knows when and I was very ok with it. Break starts, within 5days or so around 11pm, I received an audio with the most sweetest Melody (totally list in thoughts) He said “Hey sleepy Z, I know you’re not sleeping. So…” Offcourse I couldn’t ignore. It was everything I wanted. So I replied with a message. We both confess how difficult it was to be separated from each other. It also made me realize how dangerous it is to be chatting with one particular person everyday. You get addicted without knowing.
Told Omar how seriously I cried in my thoughts but tried so hard not to break that silence. He said I could have called so He can take me away so I can cry on Him (How sweet). He confess how he craves to hear the echo of my voice when the night is calm an quite, how he wants to drive me nuts with his words and it echoes in my ears. Like I got to freeze for a moment. But then no matter how attached we became, we have to stop what’s forbidden. At a point we got confused wanting to know if it’s Love or Lust. Then we both conclude theirs no Love without Lost.
At long last we took the bold step by blocking each other on all the media’s and deleting phone numbers. We know one of us has to be strong and theirs a quote which says “The poison leaves bit by bit… Be patient, you are healing”. And there are things only your mind understands so you shouldn’t bother saying them out. What hurt the most is knowing that we’ve concluded not to talk no more, so I won’t hear his voice again! This breaks me so much. Wherever you are Omar, I hope you are doing fine and you get to read this little tragic story of ours! I know I haven’t get to say this much, but I want you to know that I will always care. You’ve left me with memories that I doubt will fade. You’ve taken away my heart.
Our gossip, your smile your laughter keeps me going. If you are reading this, please don’t judge me for my wrong doing (we are all Humans, imperfect we are and The Almighty loves those who repent). Every saint has a past and every sinner has a Future. So we shouldn’t judge people instead we deal with our situations. And please I want to advice Arewa Men to follow the Sunnah of the prophets and treat their wives with the absolute Love they deserve. We shouldn’t be seen as just housewives, cooks, sex machines e.t.c. May Almighty forgive us all. I hope you enjoy my story
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.
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