MY NAME IS ZAHRA AHMAD. I AM FROM KEBBI STATE. I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU.
I met Ameer my ex husband during our freshman orientation in collage. The usual way of walking round the school with a college tour guide in order to be familiar with all faculties of our respective courses for easy access.
That exercise exhausted me, when we were asked to rest in the next park and refresh ourselves that was where our love started. I wasn’t strong enough to even make a choice of what to drink, Ameer having noticed my moves offered me his drink. I hurriedly collected it and started taking mouthful of gulps; on quenching my thirst and hunger, we both realized what I did was funny. I then handed the cup back to him and said “thank you so much, ka ceci rai”. He busted into laughter and said “ashe kina jin hausa”
My name is Hasheem but you can call me Ameer. My name is Zahra, I said. He then said can he call me beautiful Zahra? I looked puzzled and just shrugged.
It was actually love at first sight. We became inseparable throughout the five years of our degree and masters programs in school. My name was changed to Ameerah due to how in love and close we were. After our graduation, Ameer finally made the real proposal after the thousands of proposals he made during college.
His parents formalized the relationship and our wedding date was fixed.
Wedding bells started jingling. Due to how rich and influential my family is, my wedding celebration was on for a week with all sorts of events you can think of. The celebrations were over and there was the reality, “Zaman aure ya wuce wasa”. Our first year of marriage was filled with merriment, travelling in and out of the country on holiday and shopping spree.
The second year became a bit worrisome due to our inability to conceive and bear a child. It was filled with gynecologists’ appointments and counseling, yet we weren’t bothered.
The third year of our marriage changed everything. Ameer lost his job and he wasn’t interested in searching for another one. Our parents placed us on a monthly allowance that can take care of us with tons of food stuff that will cater for our feeding. Ameer never told me his own father had placed him on an allowance of a hundred and fifty thousand every month, a hundred for him and fifty for me. Ameer had never bought me anything for my up keep during our marriage.
My own father been a very wealthy man placed us on an allowance triple that of his father’s. That was how we lived for five good years in sweet and sour moments.
Ameer changed completely, from keeping late nights to spending nights outside our home and in only God knows where. If I dared question him, we’d quarrel for days, insult me and threaten to beat me up.
I am the eldest of my family and that has given me so many privileges. I mediate between my parents whenever they have a misunderstanding. Almost everyone I know feels am a patient and perfect role model but Ameer was changing that for me. That feeling was really eating me up. There was no one I could turn to. I was living in that agony for years.
My younger ones were enrolled in a private university and behold what were they seeing, Ameer trooping in and out of the school with different girls in my car. My younger ones didn’t know how to tell me until I got tired of the whole thing and left for my parents’ house.
My sister became friends with one of his numerous girlfriends. Ameer gifted that girl the customized phones my father gave us. The girl is so careless and doesn’t even care about him or his gifts. My younger sister was able to swallow the agony and befriend the girl. She saw selfies of them in compromising positions. The girl left the phone in my sister’s room due to the number of phones she has from different men. My sister brought the phone home for me to see and have proof of Ameer’s infidelity.
I sat my parents down and told them everything. They were bittered yet can never avert fate.
I stayed at home for good three months without anyone from his family coming to ask why I was not in my husband’s house. It was his uncle that later on came and asked me what was happening and I told him I can’t be living alone and Ameer not regarding me as his wife.
I explained everything in details to his uncle and he said “kiyi hakuri”. He went to Ameer’s mother and told her everything, funny enough, her only concern was for me to return till after her other son’s wedding. His elder brother’s wife left him due to issues worst than ours. Her reason was, she didn’t want her sons to be branded as bad men and the younger one that wanted to get married should be married first before I leave. I refused to go back to the house. I requested for an apology from Ameer for the insults he was always showering me with and the maltreatment. His uncle brought him to our house, spoke to both of us and left us alone to talk before he talks to us again. We were both mute at some point, the first thing Ameer said was he didn’t know why he was there, so in my own foolishness, I wanted him to apologize and ask me to return home with him, he will never do that, I should do my worst.
Those words pierced me like a dagger. I was shocked and quiet at the same time. His uncle came and I just said “baba se da safe” they left thinking we had resolved our problems not knowing what Ameer did.
After that, his mother still insisted I go back so that her other son’s supposed future in laws wouldn’t refuse giving him their daughter’s hand in marriage. That was not a good enough reason for me to go back.
I finally decided to pack all my belongings from the house and ask for a divorce. My divorce was granted and I moved on. I left the country for some time for a vacation to clear my head. I’ve left Ameer for good. Months after my divorce, suitors started trooping in as though they we’re waiting for me to be divorced. I took my time to pray for the best and alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed me with a very good husband.
No matter how long and love filled a relationship is, marriage is different. Always prepare your mind for the worst and know that you should never expect much from anybody, but rather give much.
Thank you for reading my story. I pray you learn a little from it. May Allah bless us with pious and faithful spouses Ameen.
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.
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